Written by MARTHA LEAH NANGALAMA
Today, 20 March 2021, I was chatting with one of my friends in Uganda, Kato Isa Ssalongo and he said something that intrigued me. “Martha, I am not a populist. Our people need job, so you should stop calling me a Slave Trader”. This was at 2am my time which was 8am in Uganda (on a Saturday). Yes, I wake up nightly, every day that ends in Y, at 2am thinking about Isa. You will understand why.
I have known Kato Isa since 2015. Some fool had put me in a an NRM Uganda WhatsApp group and Isa was in it. There was this woman who kept saying that Museveni had paid me Sh. 2.5B. Then there was a moron guy who kept saying “Martha will be eliminated by February 2016. She was paid Sh. 2B from JPAM and 0,5B from Besigye. To tear down Museveni. He is, hence, gonna get her assassinated.” Here is the problem. The NRM woman and the JPAM man were saying that they had vouchers I had signed when I received the money the time I flew to Uganda. Those vouchers were signed in Sheraton Hotel.
I asked the group. “Who the fuck flies anywhere now to get money and especially such big amounts?” Remember at that time UGX 2.5B was equivalent to USD $1M. So, I asked both people to show us copies of the vouchers I had signed. Don’t they have mobile money in Uganda or ETF? It made no sense.
Kato Isa steps in “You people are accusing my darling of lies. She was not paid. Do you even know when Martha last flew home? I think you are running bad politics”.
Fast forward. My friend is now President Yoweri Museveni’s Advisor for Tourism and Youth Affairs. I was very happy for him because Isa is superbly intelligent. Likeable too. Cute too. A good friend.
Now, Isa tells me that he has set up a Labour Export company. I flew into a rage. Then the questions were flying hither and thither. “How much do you charge them to sell them into slavery?” He replies “Only USD $1,600. They sign a contract for 2yrs. They get paid UGX 1M per month. Air ticket, visa, food, transportation, health insurance is paid for”. Remember that minimum wage in Uganda for a Public Servant is UGX 480,000/mth.
Seriously? You crook. Do you know that for $1,600 I can help them immigrate to Canada and have visas to fly back and forth and later get citizenship. This money includes the application fee, medical and airline ticket. OMG Isa, why charge so much?”
He replies “Leah. You have tried. You keep trying. But our people hate reading.” 😂😂😂😂
I laughed and laughed and laughed and I am still laughing. Our people do hate reading. So, since you hate reading, please if you need a job in Qatar for the upcoming Soccer World Cup, please contact Kato Isa. He will fix you. He reads for you. He does all the paper work for you. THANK YOU ISA.
On the other hand, if you are willing to read and help yourself to come to Canada, then contact me so that I can give you information to read and the application process. MLN
Today, I will be Live on Salt TV holding a Discussion with other Panelists on issues of National Importance.
Tune in at 10 am EAT
Salongo Isa Kato