Your children are not punching bags for your failed relationship
Our responsibility is to love our kids and share them. When one parent kidnaps children and deprives them of seeing the other parent, they are settling their relationship scores using the children. One of the biggest mistakes couples make.
Do not try it. You will pay a hefty price when your children grow up and detest you for having kept them away from the other parent or even told them horror stories of the other parent. For every time you denigrade the other parent, you tell the kids they are also worth nothing. Do you want to live with that?
Were I to also judge the relationship of our daughters with their father, they would never fly back to France. But France is in their blood. And he has never stopped me from flying with them to Uganda. Why do some parents not see it that children belong to both parents? It makes no sense when you think only you can have them. They grow up. They ask questions. They resent you. For the love of our children, please….
ON DIVORCE AND CHILDREN. THE LAWS IN USA AND CANADA DEAL WITH A LOT BUT HERE IS ONE JUDGE THAT TOLD THE PARENTS HER MIND. The gist is our kids must not be used as punching bags. No matter what our differences are. Our responsibility is to love our kids. Some of these stories about children were shared years ago. Please see the links below.
First shared on September 23, 2015
ON DIVORCE AND CHILDREN. THE LAWS IN USA AND CANADA DEAL WITH A LOT BUT HERE IS ONE JUDGE THAT TOLD THE PARENTS HER MIND. The gist is our kids must not be used as punching bags. No matter what our differences are.
“Your children have come into this world because of the two of you. Perhaps you two made lousy choices as to whom you decided to be the other parent. If so, that is your problem and your fault.
I sincerely hope that you do not do that to your children. Think more about your children and less about yourselves, and make yours a selfless kind of love, not foolish or selfish, or your children will suffer.”
I shared the following numerous times with the latest being from a post of October 27, 2016.
Every time I get anxious, I read The Prophet and here is what he says about kids. Remember I left my parents in Uganda to finish high school in Canada. My mother cried like you have any idea but dad told me to fly away.
And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, “Speak to us of Children.”
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;