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Why I’m going off the vegetarian diet

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Last night, I was craving red meat. I went to the freezer and took everything out. Chicken, fish,more chicken and fish. Finally, I decided to eat soil. I had this little rock of Emubwa. It felt awesome eating dirt.

Woke up in the morning still craving red meat. Pumpkin our cat looked like a rabbit. I could skin her and make rabbit stew.

Then Theodore, our dog, who has this terrible habit of following me around, looked like a sheep. Quick. I can skin him and make lamb stew.

That was 5:30am our time when both pets get their breakfast. You have to put them outside first.

Imagine my shock. Both animals ran away for the rest of the day. It was almost like they could read my thoughts and plans of eating them.

Never eat your pets. I drove to Shediac and bought a package of ox tail to cook for supper. Both animals still refused to come inside. Finally, I showed them what I was cooking and they came inside and ate their food.

As I write this message, they have gone into hiding down in the basement for fear that I will eat them. Which will not happen. Come on, I may be savage but I am not a psycho. In any case, my kids fly back next Monday and I do not think they would be amused to find out that I ate their pets.

MARTHA LEAH NANGALAMA
*** A pet is a dear friend. Get your kid a puppy.

—— AUTO – GENERATED; Published (Halifax Canada Time AST) on: December 12, 2019 at 09:59PM

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