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UGANDA: What if this year was AD 33?

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If this year’s good Friday was in AD 33, and the events were to happen in Uganda.

Possibly Judas would complain that the bribe had to be shared among many government officials and for that reason he failed to accomplish the mission. But more money from the consolidated fund would be given and finally the mission would happen.

Immediately after Jesus is arrested the chief of police would run to the scene and claim that this is organized crime and they were others who have committed it. He will order for a police post to be placed at the scene. The next day he will parade a few people to the media to confess to the crimes. (By the way does the new guy still do this?)

Bukedde will run a headline “Bamukutte”, new vision read “Top suspect arrested”, Red Pepper will sex it up. It will claim the reasons Jesus was arrested is because he talked to some woman.

The trial would happen and most likely in the court martial. Initially the lawyers and judges will accuse each other of siring kids and being impartial.

The judges will adjourn the matter several times because either one of them has flu, or another has to attend a school gala for one of his friend’s grand kid and the ping pong between them and the lawyers would have ensured Easter happens 3 years later because the whole trial will be delayed.

But then during the trial the court martial will apply all laws unknown to man. For example Jesus would be accused of things like doing things only a monopoly of NRA, stealing Rolex or attempting to burn the court with hot chapati.

The execution would be difficult. First we will have to import the wood from Brazil and Nails from China. This would take one year for effective procurement process, another year will be spent finding experts who can use the imported nails and timber, one year will be spent in court as the owner of the site where the execution is meant to take place will be seeking compensation for his land. He will be accused of exaggerating the value of the land.

At the time of execution the media will report that the expensive wood was actually not from Brazil but from Congo. The nails were substandard and could not do the work.

The Auditor General will make a finding and report to Parliament. Parliament will call everyone involved threaten to arrest them and let them go scot free.

A commission of inquiry, headed by top female judge will be set up to investigate the matter. The commission would concentrate on proving that they are working to the media than actually doing the work. They will tour other countries to see how such execution is done. It will find that billions were spent procuring the wood and the nails and actually contrary to media reports the wood was Kiludu from Bukomansimbi and was painted to look like it was from Brazil and the nails were copper residues from Kilembe. Since those who procured them were well connected it is only the president who has a final say. The report will come out after 5 years, but because it is election time, the report will not be made public. Everyone will forget and we reelect the government. Life moves on.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN AUTO – GENERATED; Published (Halifax Canada Time AST) on: April 06, 2018 at 04:13PM

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