UGANDA: GUIDELINES FOR CITY DWELLERS TRAVELLING UPCOUNTRY FOR CHRISTMAS
By SENIOR ISAAC BWAMBALE
1. Come with your preferred Toothpaste brand. Stop asking for certain brands not sold in the village.
2. Travel with Bread instead of asking people at home for bread at break time yet they never have it.
3. If you cant buy Toothpicks, just don’t ask the people at home whether they have them. Its rare to find a shop where toothpicks are sold in the village.
4. Stop asking for simple things like salads. Enjoy what’s available.
5. Travel with your Tomato Sauce if you must have it.
6. If you cant bathe using washing soap or Kifula, move with Bathing Soap.
7. While in the village or church, speak your native language not broken English or Luganda.
8. Don’t ask for complicated hair cuts and styles in the village. Do them from here and stop complicating the lives of people upcountry.
9. Those with notes of 50,000, please look for change so that you don’t disturb upcountry people with heavy notes more so in church.
10. As a matter of fact, buy a enough Toilet paper for the family.
11. Those who can’t eat bread with out Blue band or Prestige margarine, please go with them in your travel bags.
12. Dont forget to have your own Lotions to avoid harassing people who use other things instead of lotions.
13. If possible, go with ironed clothes or buy a Flat iron for the family in the village. They will appreciate.
14. Go with enough pocket money. Some upcountry places have no Mobile Money services and you don’t need to blame any one.
15. Go with your Power bank and Phone charger because power can be a problem upcountry.
16. Dont forget your Bibles. I repeat don’t forget Bibles. Those scenarios of swelling in church yet you have no bibles must be left in Kampala.
17. Dont give long and boring speeches in church if given an opportunity to greet people.
18. Don’t try to change what’s on ground or in church just because you are from Kampala.
19. Dont think your Offertory will be collected in a special way just because you are from Kampala.
20. If you buy things in church, pay cash please. Those things of buying every item in church on credit ended long ago. Don’t burden churches leaders with following up on you in vain.
21. Leave your Miniskirts and tight clothes in Kampala. You are not travelling to show off your flesh. After all some ladies upcountry are naturally gifted than you.
22. Don’t ask why people at home have no Television yet you never bought one for them. Instead go with a TV set if you must watch your movies and Bukedde series.
23. Lastly but not least, don’t bring all things from home and you cause hunger in January.
24. Leave some money behind as you travel, otherwise you will walk back to Kampala.
I wish you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2020.
—— AUTO – GENERATED; Published (Halifax Canada Time AST) on: December 11, 2019 at 12:01PM