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UGANDA CORRUPTION BENEFICIARIES SOLIDARITY PARADE

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CHANGE OF GUARDS – As you are very much aware, primitive accumulation of wealth and power through revolutionary corruption and abuse of office has been a key pillar in ensuring our hold on power for the last 33 years. Loyalty is measured by how much wealth you have illegally accumulated and how much you have contributed towards the suffering of the masses. That way, we have been able to not only ensure loyalty and commitment amongst ourselves but to attract fence sitters to come and pick a few crumbs off the dining table. However, this great achievement has not come without a cost – our detractors have successfully sensitized the suffering masses who now view us as parasites. At any moment, these masses can pounce on us and among other consequences, we go back to square one.

It is against this background that all direct beneficiaries and the Banyampi (eaters of leftovers) are directed to attend without fail the above mentioned occasion on December 4, 2019.  We intend to use the occasion to demonstrate our resolve to remain on the dining table, to celebrate our accumulation of wealth and to send a clear message to the detractors that we are not ready to leave the stage. Above all we are to give assurance to all the past, present and future beneficiaries that your security and legal protection is guaranteed. 

Therefore,  the following categories of the Tuli Mukintus (This is Our Thing) are expected not to miss the occasion:

1.  Top members of the security services who have been the first beneficiaries of the three decades of the defence and security budget being the highest.

2.  Public and civil servants who very well know that their services can end if the regime loses power because they came to those offices through patronage and have thrived on corruption and abuse of office.

3.  Members of Parliament and elected local government leaders who gained those positions by bribing, manipulating and intimidation of voters.  This includes even those who were  directly helped by the state apparatus.

4.  The land grabbers who are at the forefront of our impoverishment and alienation scheme. Come and show appreciation for the security and legal protection that you have enjoyed.

5.  The employees of state agencies and parastatals who have played a key role in sustaining the scheme by corruptly accumulating wealth.

6.  The religious leaders who have benefitted from direct cash and material donations from the regime and the wealth accumulated from fleecing their flocks while we turn a blind eye.

7.  Members of the private sector who have benefited from tax evasion, protected smuggling, unfair business competition, selling of substandard and fake products, money laundering, inflated government tenders and contracts.

8.  Our key partners in covering up corruption and abuse of office like the judiciary, the IGG, DPP, State House Anti-corruption Unit, friendly media, some few friendly CSOs and other entities. We value your conspiracy in crime.

Since our brand of corruption is highly associated with nepotism and sectarianism, we anticipate that South Westerners will dominate the parade. We have also directed the Public Service to allow all the beneficiary civil and public servants a break during the occasion. Of course, we don’t expect teachers in this since they don’t steal anything. We shall also paralyse the private sector in urban centers during the parade. We anticipate that the main beneficiaries will also mobilize the Banyampi under them to boost the numbers on the parade. Good enough, owing to their social-economic  situation, these Banyampi only need some small transport refund, T-shirts, food and drinks to secure their attendance.

Most important, be reminded that unless we come out in big numbers to demonstrate to these idiots that we pride in what we have achieved through revolutionary corruption and our determination to retain the status quo, we may soon fall victim to their resolve to crucify us. The only opportunity we have is that their organizational capacity is poor. They have only mastered the art of lamenting like the underprivileged in Animal Farm.

I thank you and see you there.

State House

—— AUTO – GENERATED; Published (Halifax Canada Time AST) on: December 04, 2019 at 08:04AM

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