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UGANDA: Cook for your kids, not your spouse

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By MARTHA LEAH NANGALAMA

I just got off an epic phone call. Truly epic. Now, here is one of my sisters in Uganda (come on, everyone is my sister) who is half crying on the phone. “Sisita, ono omusajja tanjagala. Kakati sista, omanyi. Mbadde mufumbila emeere naye nga tayagala kulya. Kakati, ojukila wangamba nti mufumbile ku Friday. Kakati, mufumbe enkoko ne oluwombo. OMG talidde. Nemubuza lwakyi talya bye nfumba”.

Now, I am feeling like telling her that may be you are not a nice cooker? Maybe he ate somewhere before he came home? 

Siss, so, please tell me that you took the enkoko and luwombo and fed the kids, right? THINGS THEN FALL APART “Tanjagala. Asobola atya okutalya emeele yange gye mufumbidde?”

By now, I was on my third joint and I was very high. So I proceed “naye abana, balidde enkoko oba oli wala ku muyaye oyo? Gwe tomalina budde. Gende owe abana eby’okula. Naye siss, mpozi, bagenda kumasomelo weekend eno? Tuli wano ku September 18th atte abana ba reporting September 29th. Njagala ompe amawurile ago. Eby’ okulya tebimenya mutima. Nkubila ka simu omburile nti abana bagenda kumasole this weekend. Omanyi nti nkwagala nyo nyo nyooooo”.

So, I am here waiting for a reply. Imagine my shock. The beloved sister just blocked me on WhatsApp because I had told her to “let us use WhatsApp because Airtime nga eli expensive”.

MUJOOGA. I should have told her that I cook only once a month but we were still discussing the dude not eating his wife’s food. Can you think? If I cook, I do not even want you to eat my food unless I love you enough to share. Otherwise, we have Take Away & Fast Food & Meals Delivered & Take Out & St. Hubert, McDonalds, Swiss Chalet, nabalala nabalala. We even have KFC, Burger King and some other places not mentioned. Likely because I never eat there.

THEREFORE, you want a wife who can cook and you do not eat what she cooks? How about you try a wife who does not cook. We will see how that works out for you.

MLN

—— AUTO – GENERATED; Published (Halifax Canada Time AST) on: September 19, 2020 at 12:23AM

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